Start planning as soon as possible.

It’s likely you were asked to be in the wedding party about a year in advance. But don’t let the seemingly far-off wedding date fool you—there is plenty you can, and should, begin doing ASAP. Stay as organized as possible by keeping a spreadsheet of the bridesmaids’ contact information, a timeline of the events, a planner/to-do list, an outline of wedding-related expenses so you can budget appropriately, etc. Starting early will not only help reduce stress-levels, but will also let you leave a little room for last minute emergencies and/or unexpected changes.

Be a team player.

Do not mistake being part of the wedding for running the wedding. Disagreements between bridesmaids are bound to happen, especially when you are spending a lot of (perhaps too much) time together. But don’t let it become a competition of “Who Can Be the Best Bridesmaid?” There’s a fine line between being proactive and being overbearing. If you want to impress and help the bride, get along with everyone and be cooperative. Every now and then check in not only with the bride but also with the Maid of Honor to see if there’s anything you could be doing to help.

Don’t complain about the dress.

Aside from standing alongside her at the ceremony and attending the rehearsal(s), there is technically only one other mandatory duty you agree to when being a bridesmaid: Wear the dress. Maybe it’s ugly, an unflattering color, or you’d prefer a different style. It is extremely difficult to find a dress that looks good on 5+ different bodies. This is the one night of your (adult) life you have to wear what someone else wants you to. Do it with a smile.

Get party favors ahead of time.

Between the bridal shower and bachelorette party, you will likely need to help put together various decorations and party favors. But, contrary to popular belief, being a good bridesmaid does not necessarily mean emptying your bank account. Do yourself a favor and find a place for custom labels. From water bottles at the reception, to cupcake toppers at the bridal shower, to refreshments at the bachelorette party, and gift tags for party favors, having a go-to company that is quick and inexpensive for custom labels and tags will prove to be invaluable. They are a great, cost-effective way to add a unique, personalized touch to gifts and favors, which will simultaneously help make guests and the wedding party feel appreciated. Plus, the right place should be able to customize the labels according to the wedding theme.

Plan the bachelorette party accordingly.

Don’t assume the best idea for the bachelorette party is the stereotypical night-out partying. Consider exactly what type of person the bride is, and plan it around what would make her most happy. While you want everyone to have fun, remember it is about the bride—not you, and not the other bridesmaids. Don’t be afraid to ask the bride; not everything has to be a surprise!

Be present. 

Make sure throughout the entire process you’re both physically and emotionally present for the bride. Offer to go with her to dress fittings, venue viewings, etc. Offer to be her go to Bridesmaid for non-wedding activities when she needs a break. If you think being a bridesmaid is stressful, imagine what she must be going through! Be there as an outlet for her to express her stress, fears and frustrations. Continuously remind yourself why she chose you to be part of one of the biggest days of her life. Obviously she values you as a person—and whether it is your humor, understanding nature, or optimistic personality, there is something you bring to the table she could really use from time to time.

Never ever complain to the bride 

A lot of the stress brides experience stems from making sure other people are happy and enjoying themselves. And that includes you! If you absolutely must vent about another very frustrating bridesmaid, the constant expenses, or how time-consuming it’s been, do it to someone else… preferably someone who doesn’t know the bride. The bride has enough to worry about—your happiness shouldn’t be one of them.

Prepare for the worst.

The best way to make sure everything goes right is to minimize the amount of things that could go wrong. Have an emergency prep kit on hand filled with bobby pins, deodorant, fashion tape, mints, and other essentials she may need. Consider ahead of time how you would handle certain emergency situations, such as last minute jitters, lost items, unpredictable weather, etc.

Agreeing to be a bridesmaid is a great honor, but it does come with a lot of responsibility, time commitments, financial expenses, and stressful situations. But throughout the process remember the best thing you can do, for yourself and for the bride, is remember what and why you are celebrating in the first place.

Placing the Wedding Party!

One of the easiest places to start (you don’t want to get overwhelmed the first day!) is to go ahead and place your bridal party. There are several options to choose from when seating your party. If you’re a more traditional bride, a rectangular head table — where the bride and groom sit in the center and face the reception hall — is a great choice.

In another more non-traditional arrangement, the bride and groom sit by themselves at what’s called a “sweetheart table,” and the rest of the bridal party sits at tables near them. When seating your bridal party, think about whether their dates would be more comfortable sitting together at one table or spread out at different tables with people they already know.

Placing the Guests

You’ll want to start working on the seating arrangement for your guests as soon as you have a rough head count for the big day. You may choose to put the seating plan together before all of your RSVPs have arrived, but be prepared to make a few minor changes if you do.

First you’ll want to ask the staff at your reception site about the types of tables they provide. From there, you can decide what sort of layout you’d like to use — whether it be circular, a horseshoe, scattered, etc. Find out how many seats fit at each table and work from there.

It’s important to be very mindful of where you place your friends and family members — if you place them only with people they know then you could actually discourage mingling at the wedding. At the other end of the spectrum, placing all strangers at a table could make your guests rather uncomfortable. You should try to strike a balance by arranging guests so that they’ll know a few people at their table. You might also want to think about interests and age groups of the guests at each table — it will be much easier for them to keep a conversation with guests they have something in common with.

Now, the ever-challenging task of seating singles! Wedding etiquette generally frowns upon designating a single’s table, so this may take some creativity on your part. Try to seat groups of singles among couples they know — it will keep them from getting unwanted attention while also allowing them to see they’re not the only single person there.

Placing Children

While kids aged 7 to 14 will be perfectly content at a separate table, seating those under 7 will present another challenge. Your best option might be a separate room with childcare provided. If you’d like children to be in the same room as adults, however, try setting an area off to the side that both feeds kids and keeps them busy — like tables with coloring books/crayons or other crafts. If you suspect that a guest will need a high chair, ask the venue if they can provide one; if they can’t, tell the parents so they can plan ahead.

Final touches

You should have your seating chart firmed up at least a week before the wedding. That will give you time to make up your escort cards (cards that are used to tell your guests which table they’re at) and table numbers — or better yet, names! For example, if you are having a garden wedding you may name the tables after different flowers like “hydrangea,” “peony,” or “sweet pea.”

To help your guests find their table, you should have the table name/number displayed prominently on the tables and create a name place card for each guest. If there are any special menu requests (i.e. vegan or gluten-free guests), you can indicate them with a special symbol on the place card.

When you are only assigning tables and not seats, you can simply place your escort cards on a table at the entrance to the wedding reception.  When you assign guests tables and seats, you will additionally need place cards waiting on the table for each guest.  (Tip: Keep in mind that you can incorporate the wedding favor into the place card as well!)

After preparing your seating chart, you’ll also want to provide a copy for your reception location, so you can go over any potential issues with the site manager.

We know, we know: It’s a lot of work. But there are certainly tools available to help you! Above all, putting a lot of thought into the seating chart is a good way to make your guests feel special and comfortable.

With that said, here’s a breakdown of what you can expect to pay and a list of items you should include in your budget when planning for your big day.

Here’s a basic breakdown of what you can expect to pay:

• Reception: 48-50 percent
• Ceremony: 2-3 percent
• Attire: 8-10 percent
• Flowers: 8-10 percent
• Entertainment/Music: 8-10 percent
• Photography/Videography: 10-12 percent
• Stationery: 2-3 percent
• Wedding Rings: 2-3 percent
• Parking/Transportation: 2-3 percent
• Gifts: 2-3 percent
• Miscellaneous: 8 percent